At different points of time, we all need some sort of guidance. In earlier days, getting an advice was easy. But nowadays, it is difficult. Even if I must tell my own case, I don’t just pester around when I need any advice. It is one in a hundred times that I take anyone’s advice, my mom and dad being the exception. Those people are also exceptional who give their free advice voluntarily.
I’m not that interested in giving unnecessary voluntary advises.
Coming back to the point, I must say, that whenever you want any advice, you’ll probably think of your self-respect first. In our society, advice of only those is considered significant who are earning well or who’re educated.
Have you read it? Money is honey, my dear Sunny and a rich man’s joke is always funny.
I disrespect both criteria. Money is powerful, I know. If you look at the list of top powerful people in the world, you’ll find that there are many billionaires in that list.
But, if you take any personal advice, just check the person’s background. It’s not necessary that education and money have given him wit as well. Moreover, check if his wit is applicable in your context as well.
Many people don’t like to advise as they don’t like accountability.
My Own Experience With Counselling
I don’t have a very good experience with counselling. I haven’t got any paid counselling, but have had many chances in the last few years.
When I was in class 10th, our school arranged to call a Career Counselor for us. I don’t have much time to narrate the entire incident, so I must tell you the summarized version.
He started with the core points to relate with the students; that parents pressurize their children to pursue any specific career, so as to emotionally relate to the students.
Then, he proceeded with a few off-the-beat career options one can pursue. Further, he shared some case studies in which he coached some students and where they were then.
After this, we were given his pamphlets about his coaching institute in Meerut. We were asked to put forward our queries. On every second query, he answered, “I need to counsel you personally, come to my coaching center this Saturday .” Over. Man! I was just wondering, when did it start and when did it finish. It was just a propaganda.
Both in our eleventh and twelfth standards, we had a Period on Thursday, named as ‘Foundation‘. A teacher was supposed to take that period and guide the students. But now, I feel that it was not up to the mark. Though, I really like that teacher as he gave real insights about the news and taught really well. Whenever, I had any query, he would solve it quickly. This time, no propaganda was involved. But, the counselling was really limited.
I always work with an end result in my mind. I find it an illusion, if it doesn’t have any end result. Most of the counselling sessions involved just about jobs and colleges, no skills and no new ideas. The teacher tried his best, but the curriculum as provided was not good in my opinion. Opinions vary as other students liked it. But I didn’t. Anyways, It was a good try.
I mustn’t mention the name, but there’s a famous Indian Youtuber and motivational speaker, whom I found contradicting in every third video on his channel.
So, in my opinion, there are 3 things all the counselling sessions must include.
3 Things All the Counselling Sessions Must Include
The counselling should be done with an end goal in the mind. A counselling which is done just to offer sympathy is not complete. Often, the people who have any problem running in their mind is just because of the problem that they don’t find the end results of the circumstances of their lives.
For e.g. Many people indulge in ‘Just having a good time‘ activities. Such activities are not backed by any solid end result. Such as dating purposelessly and changing your mind every other week; using abusive and misleading words in your language (when I pointed out this fact in my classmates, they told me that it’s their way of expressing their emotions. But I think, this means you don’t have an emotional control over yourself if you’re using external stimuli); Intoxicants, being extravagant etc.
Activities without an end oriented assumption are waste. Most of the problems start from here.
Hence, all the counselling sessions must be complete so as to solve any problem from its roots.
What a counselor counsels must be within the scope of the individual seeking advice. The individual must be satisfied after having the conversation; even if his problem remains unsolved. He should be made to realize that he is being understood so he must be comfortable.
The advice offered must be in the context of the problem of the individual.
For e.g. Once I asked a teacher of mine that I want to be a writer. He said, “Right now, you should focus on your studies. When you grow up, do a good job and make money, you can start writing then.”
Man, this is not the advice. If you keep writing and you earn less, then it’s so depressing. I’ve experienced it. Even, meager earnings are respectable once you start earning. If you just keep working on your passion without earning from it, once you’ll be bored of it, you’ll stop taking it seriously apart from idling your talent.
I too believe that freelancing is not a stable income for everybody (not even me). But you should at least start working, for god’s sake.
Here, you might say, “Hey Shiv! Don’t take our food, clothing and shelter.” Relax. You can have it.
What I mean to say is, once you’ve taken your fees, forget that you’re a professional. Right then, you should think of yourself as a benefactor of your visitor. He has visited you by trusting you. You’re exploiting him, if taking his advantage you manipulate him to pursue your services.
Once, your professional course of action is completed, forget that you’re a professional and give your best service.
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